This Time Tomorrow
by SlayerFest5
Summary: Goes AU in New Moon. Bella gives in to temptation and discovers things she's never felt before. C/B, don't read if you don't like the couple. Rated M for a reason.
1. Curiosity

A/N: So here it is, chapter one of my first Twilight fic. This isn't going to be a very long story, it might have 4 or 5 chapters max. A quick note; I do not have a beta. I have trouble finding one who will do Carlsile/Bella fics, which is my preferred Twilight ship. If anyone might be interested in helping my out, I would love your help just let me know in a PM or a review.

I really hope you enjoy reading this and I would be very grateful if you let me know what you think of it. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Twilight and I am not making any profit from this.

* * *

You know it's been a weird day when you're laying in your bed imagining what your boyfriend's father is like in bed.

You know it's been the weirdest day _ever_ if your boyfriend and his father are century old vampires and you're seriously considering finding out.

The day started out as normally as any other. At around 6 am, I awoke to find Edward softly stroking my hair. He kissed me chastely before whispering "good morning" in my ear. Shortly after we said our good-byes while I got up and got ready for school, just like any other day.

Only today wasn't any other day. No, today was my birthday. I should have known better, I really should have. I should have pretended to be sick because after arriving at school, I was informed that I was being thrown a birthday party by the Cullens.

"It's just going to be us, Bella. Stop worrying so much, it'll be so much fun!" Alice had told me.

Yeah, fun. It turned out to be a disaster, not that I'm surprised.

It all happened so fast. While unwrapping a gift, I had managed to injure myself. Of course. Just a simple paper cut but it didn't matter. It was blood, and Jasper wanted it. Immediately after, Edward, my hero, throws me against a wall and then there was _more_ blood. It was enough blood to drive all of the Cullens away. Everyone except for Carlisle.

Then the bad got worse.

I like Carlisle, don't get me wrong. He's kind, sensitive, and he didn't want to kill me, which was a big plus in my book. The problem was that I had major qualms about being alone with the man who I considered to be the most attractive person alive. Well, technically dead. I had managed to avoid being alone with Carlisle since day one. When I first met him in the hospital, Charlie had been right next to me the entire time, not to mention the other staff that had been milling around, tending to patients. Afterwards, my interactions with him had come to a screeching halt and would stay that way as long as I kept myself out of the hospital. Problem solved.

Or it was solved, right up until shortly after Edward and I started dating. Before it could even fully register, I seemed to spend more time at the Cullen home than I did at my own. At least that's how it felt. It also seemed like Carlisle wasn't working at the hospital anymore. He was always there to greet Edward and I when we arrived after school or on weekends when I'd feel brave enough to take my truck over. One Sunday I even asked Edward if he quit his job.

He had shaken his head and laughed, "He decided to work night shifts. Switch it up a little." Then he gave me that crooked 'we're-vampires-and-have-seen-it-all-and-get-bored-easily' smile and that was that. I thought nothing of it.

Until tonight.

Carlisle had rushed to my side as I scrambled to sit up after hitting the wall. He grasped my arm and examined the damage.

"I'll have to stitch this up in my office." he whispered, more to himself than anyone in particular.

After the Cullen's pulled Jasper out of the house, I found Edward glaring at me and in that moment, I wished I could read minds. Surely he wasn't blaming me for this, was he? Then he shook his head at me and turned around, fleeing the house. The picture of disgust on his face before he walked away was burned into my brain.

Needless to say that I was in a whole different world when all of the sudden I was pulled against a rock hard chest and lifted from the ground. Before I even had a chance to shriek, Carlisle sped up the stairs and set me down on a table in his office. He darted to the other side of the room and back before I could blink, which only served to startle me more. I jumped at the touch of his hand on my forearm.

"I'm going to need you to keep your arm still, Bella. Feel free to hold on to me if it will help you keep it still."

He pulled my arm gently out to lean my wrist against his hip. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help the quickening of my heartbeat.

"Are you afraid of needles?" he asked me, an amused smile playing across his lips. "I'll be gentle, I promise."

If I had blinked, I would have missed the split second where that adorable smile became a delectable smirk. But as quickly as it came, it had disappeared and I felt an uncontrollable blush rise to my cheeks. Thankfully he had already begun to stitch my arm and didn't see it. Or if he did, he chose not to comment.

While I wasn't scared of needles, I had never been very comfortable with the sight of blood. I tried to distract myself by thinking about other things. First, I thought about Carlisle. I quickly realized that would probably do more harm than good so instead, I thought about Edward. At the exact moment I thought of my boyfriend, Carlisle began stitching a particularly sensitive area and I cringed. The irony wasn't lost on me. Lately it seemed like that's all our relationship had been doing. Making me cringe.

I sighed quietly, but he heard it anyways.

"Is everything all right? Would you like some medication for the pain?"

If the genuine concern in his voice wasn't enough to make me feel loved, the look on his face was. His brow was furrowed slightly and his eyes begged me to tell him if I was in pain. He was hurting_ for_ me.

It warmed my heart.

A took a deep breath and cleared my throat before I spoke again, not trusting my voice. "I'm fine, keep going."

He studied me for a moment before giving a curt nod and continuing his work. He started slowly and glanced up to gauge my reaction. When he was certain that I was not in pain, he put his full attention back on my cut and I put my full attention on studying his features.

First, I looked at his hair. It was golden blonde and looked even silkier up close than it did from afar. I buried the aching urge to put my hands in it to find out if it really was as soft as I thought it'd be by traveling my eyes downwards to study his eyes. I always thought the Cullens had beautiful eyes. Such a lovely shade of gold given to them as a gift for the incredible amount of restraint they all had. I never mentioned that thought to Edward, or anyone else for that matter, because I doubted any of them would see it the same way I did. The color of their eyes was no more a gift to them than their vampire status was. So I kept my mouth shut in fear of offending or aggravating anyone.

I refocused on Carlisle's eyes. He had the kind that musicians write songs about. You could lose yourself in them and I was grateful he wasn't gazing into mine, instead focusing on his work. As cheesy as it sounded, it seemed like every time Carlisle looked at me, I could feel his eyes burning into my soul. It was incredibly intense, but intensity greatly unlike the one I felt when Edward looked at me. When Carlisle looked at me, _really_ looked at me, it made me feel as if he could see only me. In those moments, I was the only person in the room. The air would get thick and heat would seem to flow through my body as if I was on fire. Even though I knew it was all in my head, I still loved those moments where I could pretend.

When Edward would look at me, it was different. When we first met it was a similar feeling, only without the heat I felt from Carlisle. Lately though I could see Edward looking at me through rose-colored glasses. I wasn't who he thought I was. I was a good girl, sweet, innocent. I didn't lust after his father. I didn't care about sex. I was perfectly content doing what he wanted all of the time. He would gaze at me with amusement, curiosity, and frustration. He'd never say it, but I think it really bothered him that he couldn't read my mind. I thought back to the last look Edward had given me. A look that said he was disgusted that it had come to this. I was a clumsy human girl who seemed to have the ability to rip his family apart. Whether he was disgusted at me and my humanity or at himself for bringing me into this in the first place, I really didn't know. Maybe it was both.

Expelling the depressing thoughts from my mind, I looked back to the man stitching my arm. I let my eyes linger on his pale skin and around his nose before his lips, slightly pursed in his concentrated state, came into my eyesight. Despite how unbreakable he was, his lips always looked so soft. I wondered how they felt to kiss. I wondered how Carlisle kissed. I had never seen him and Esme kiss, which I found strange after thinking about it. They were together constantly, whispering in each other's ears and laughing at the private jokes, but they never displayed much affection beyond typical family ones. It was clear that they loved each other, but were they in love? I didn't know and honestly, I was way too chicken to ask.

He spoke suddenly, jolting me out of my thoughts.

"You're doing very well, Bella. I'm almost done but this last part might hurt a bit more than the rest. Are you sure you don't want anything?" he asked with a kind smile.

"I'll be alright, I promise."

"Very well, but remember to keep it as still as you can."

I didn't expect it to hurt, but it did. My arm started to shake and I quickly unclenched my balled fist and grasped Carlisle's hip tightly. I expected a concerned glance followed by another offer for medication. Maybe a reassuring smile. What I got was unbelievable.

Carlisle inhaled sharply and suddenly stepped forward. My hand stayed clenching his hip and his legs forced my knees to part. He stood standing between them, far enough so we weren't touching, but too close to be considered appropriate. He looked down to where my hand was gripping him and I wondered if I had unintentionally crossed some sort of line.

"Y-you said that I could hold on to you," I explained quietly, pausing to clear my throat and lick my lips, which were suddenly dry. I looked to the floor before continuing, "Sorry, it hurt more than I expected."

He didn't speak so I dared to take a glance at his face. His expression was deadly serious, as if he were deeply considering something. He stood there breathing heavily and staring into my eyes for what felt like hours. Then a thought flittered through my head. The way he was looking at me now was really happening; it wasn't just in my head. I felt a cross between panic and excitement creep up my spine causing me to shiver.

Carlisle began to nod very slowly. "I did say that, yes." His voice was rougher than normal. "I should finish. Grab onto me again."

I looked at him incredulously. After his initial reaction, I very hesitant to do it again. He didn't give me much of a choice though. He sensed my uncertainty and grabbed my hand, flattened out the fist I had once again then guided my hand to rest on his hip. His cold hand remained over mine as he held it there. The hormonal part of my brain felt it was almost like he was showing me how to feel him up. It was incredibly sensual. My knees parted further on their own accord as my arousal spiked.

I heard a low growl and looked up at Carlisle with wide eyes. He was standing completely still, body rigid, as if he were waiting for an attack of some kind. His golden eyes had lost some of their color, darkening as he gazed at me. The growling continued as I watched his nostrils flares and it finally dawned on me that he could smell me. Smell my arousal. Embarrassment flooded through me and I wished the floor would open and swallow me whole. My eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape. But even if I could find an escape route, there was still the matter of the unbreakable and unmovable vampire still standing between my legs.

The growl tapered off and I watched him begin to struggle. His face contorted as he fought himself for control. From any other man I might have been worried but this was Carlisle Cullen, master of self-control. I sighed in relief as his posture slacked and his eyes seemed to regain a bit of gold. They flickered up to meet mine for a moment before he looked away, obviously ashamed with himself. He said nothing and returned to stitching my arm but didn't move away. We were still locked into a rather intimate and inappropriate position but I couldn't find it in me to care.

If I was honest with myself, I kind of wished he was closer. I kind of wished he didn't have so much control. I pictured what could have happened if he had lost the battle with himself and pulled me against him, my legs automatically wrapping around his thin waist. I imagined him leaning down and burying his face in my neck while grinding his arousal against my center. How his cool tongue would feel sliding up my neck as I writhed against his rock hard body.

I could feel my underwear getting uncomfortably wet and was snapped back to reality as a strangled groan made its way to my ears.

"Bella, why must you torture me this way? Do you have any idea what this does to me?" he whispered, his voice laced with agony.

"W-what are… No. It's… I mean-" my stuttering was cut off by a wave of his hand.

"Not now, we will continue this conversation later."

There was a promise is his voice as he said it. As if there wasn't a choice, whenever we could, we would continue this in some way, shape, or form. I felt myself shiver once again as he put the final stitches in my arm. He grabbed a match and lit the bowl containing the bloody shards of glass on fire. I tried to watch him as he darted around the room at vampire speed before moving to stand at my side at an innocent distance away. Right as I was about to speak, the door to his study opened and Edward slowly made his way into the room.

"Is she alright?"

The way he directed his question at Carlisle while completely ignoring me, the injured party, pissed me off. Not that I'd ever say anything.

Carlisle nodded, "She's tough, she'll be fine." He looked over at me and smiled politely but there was something underneath it. An apology for Edward's behavior perhaps.

"Good. Come on, Bella. I'll take you home now."

I nodded mutely and followed behind him. When I got one step away from the door, a cold hand grasped on to my forearm gently.

"Later." Carlisle said simply. I knew enough to realize that it wasn't a question.

Still shocked by the situation, I simply nodded again. I didn't trust myself enough to speak at the moment. He released my arm and watched me follow Edward downstairs. Edward drove me home and kissed me goodnight as usual, but I couldn't bring myself to really kiss him back. For once, I was grateful for the fact that he didn't trust himself enough to kiss for more than a few seconds. I managed to avoid cringing as he backed away and fled inside my house as soon as it was over. I heaved a heavy sigh as I leaned against the door, truly grateful that Edward couldn't read my mind and hear the lustful thoughts of his father that I couldn't seem to shake.

So that's how I wound up here, laying sideways on my bed with my head hanging off of it. I could barely feel the blood pounding painfully in my head and the cramp forming in my neck was easily ignored while I mulled over the events of my eighteenth birthday. I tried convincing myself it was all a dream but deep inside, I knew it wasn't. There were millions of questions floating through my head, but only one demanded an immediate answer.

When Carlisle decides to continue whatever it was that we started in his office… what the hell was I going to do?


	2. Confusion

Hi all! This is a fairly short update, but an update none-the-less. I wanted it to stop right where it did, hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon and I expect it to be longer. As of right now, I still plan on this being a shortish fic BUT if inspiration comes to make it longer than I intended, I probably will do so. Thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed! Reviews feed my muse and I love the feedback. :) Thanks also to everyone who faved and/or followed this fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters.

Also, I have no beta, all mistkaes are my own. If you spot one, kindly point it out to me so I can edit it. Thank you!

Now, onto the story!

* * *

When I awoke the next morning, I was a bit on edge.

Wait, no. That was an understatement.

I _was_ the edge. When Charlie's door opened at 6 am sharp, I jumped in my bed and bit back a shriek of surprise. I had barely managed to sleep the previous night, too wired by the delectable thought of Carlisle jumping through my window in the wee hours of the morning and fulfilling his promise.

_We will continue this conversation later._

The words seemed to echo through my head as I got ready for school. As I was brushing my hair I wondered if maybe I was reading way too much into this. Maybe he literally meant we would finish the conversation later and that was all. I worried my lip between my teeth as I imagined him acknowledging my attraction to him and telling me is was all in my head. I pictured him letting me down gently and wanting the floor to swallow me whole as I blushed crimson. Then everything went back to normal. Edward, Esme, Carlisle, and me all sitting around having dinner or something normal.

Except they didn't eat. Well, they could watch me eat.

The thought of the connection between us being nothing more than my imagination was both disappointing and slightly relieving. I couldn't figure out how I really felt about Carlisle and the odd situation I had found myself in last night. I was obviously attracted to Carlisle, that was a given. But did it go beyond lust? The question I proposed to myself made my nerves flare up and my inner voice reminded me that I had a boyfriend that I loved.

_At least I thought I did._

With a frustrated growl I finished brushing my hair and pulled it into a ponytail, not in the mood to bother dealing with it today.

"Bells, you up?" Charlie asked as he knocked on my closed door.

"I'll be out in a minute!"

After a quick breakfast with my dad, I hopped into my truck and headed to school, grateful for the time alone to think.

I felt pathetic as I mentally compared Edward to Carlisle. The saddest part of my inner monologue was the fact that no matter how many different questions I asked myself comparing my boyfriend and his father, Carlisle always won. The problem with that outcome?

_He's married, you idiot! _

To Esme, no less. Not only was she one of the most beautiful women I've ever met, she was also extremely graceful and charming, a far cry from myself. I sighed heavily as I pulled into Forks High parking lot and threw the truck in park. The sigh got caught in my throat as I glanced to see if Edward had arrived yet. Instead of Edwards shiny silver Volvo there sat a sleek, black Mercedes.

Carlisle.

I started to cough uncontrollably and my face turned red from a mixture of pain and embarrassment. I knew he could hear me. I watched helplessly as he opened the door to his car and started towards mine, a look of concern on his face. Yep, he definitely heard the cough. The white coat billowed behind him as he walked. He must have stopped off on his way to work. Just as I managed to choke back my coughing fit, he was tapping on my window.

I gulped and I was pretty damn sure it was not only visible, but audible. As I manually rolled down the window, he began to smile.

"Good morning, Bella. Did you sleep well?"

"Um, sure. You?"

I mentally slapped my palm to my forehead. He had the audacity to chuckle at my distress. It irritated me enough to grow a bit of backbone and snap at him.

"What are you doing here, Carlisle?"

He quickly picked up on my annoyance and the smile fell. "I wanted to arrange a time that is convenient for you to continue our conversation."

The small amount of confidence I had before dissolved before all of the words came out of his beautiful mouth. His words were spoken seriously but I was having a hard time comprehending what he said. How in the hell were his teeth so white?

"Bella?"

"Carlisle?" It was all I could manage to croak out as I continued to stare at his mouth. His teeth and his lips were both perfection. I idly wondered if his tongue was just as perfect.

"Would this evening work for you, Bella?"

That jolted me out of it. This was really happening. I just didn't have any idea what 'this' was. I tried in vain to shake the nerves off so I could ask the question I really needed answered.

"Carlisle… what exactly-"I broke off and licked my lips, wondering when my mouth had gotten so dry, "I-I just don't know what we're-"

His hand reached through my window and he pressed a finger to my lips. I shivered at the contact.

"Shhh, Bella. We can talk tonight. I'm afraid have to go now."

I nodded dumbly. His finger was still on my lips. His eyes sparkled as he granted me one last smile before turning and heading towards his car. I shakily put a hand to my lips, the feel of his cold finger still a ghost on the surface. I stopped touching my lips and rubbed my eyes before burying my face in my hands. This was far too confusing.

"Hey Bella!"

I jumped, almost hitting my head on the roof of the truck. It was at this point that I grabbed my backpack and hauled myself out of the vehicle, hoping to avoid injury.

"Whoa, you're jumpy today! You need to relax a little."

I forced a smile at Emmett who was standing in the exact spot that Carlisle had occupied just moments ago, with Rosalie standing by his side. I glanced past her and saw Edward approaching and realized why Carlisle had bailed. I frowned when I noticed a lack of my pixie like best friend and her husband. I turned back to Emmett and asked, "Where are Alice and Jasper?"

"They're heading up to Alaska to stay with The Denali's for a few days. Jasper feels horrible about last night and Alice goes where Jasper goes."

"They know I'm not mad about it, right? It was all my fault and I'm really sorry if-."

"It wasn't your fault," Rosalie surprised me by cutting me off, "You're human, you bleed. You don't have to apologize for it. Shit happens."

I was taken aback. Up until now, Rosalie had always been cold to me. Her words weren't exactly warm and friendly but she had, in her own way, defended me. I was slightly touched. Maybe we would wind up being friends one day after all.

A voice in my head reminded me that if I let myself go down this road with Carlisle, her tune would likely be very different. I could easily rip the Cullen family apart and for what? The thrill of Carlisle wanting me as much as I want him? I hung my head in disgust at my own selfishness. Even with the thought of destroying a family, I still couldn't shake the growing feelings I was developing for the Cullen family patriarch.

Suddenly, a strange thought occurred. Alice had explained to me once how vampire mating worked. She used as examples her and Jasper's relationship as well as Rosalie's and Emmett's. Never did she mention Edward and I nor Carlisle and Esme. Were we not mates? Were they not mates? I remember Alice telling me that after she met Jasper, she never had eyes for another. The reality that lusting over Carlisle probably meant that Edward and I weren't really meant to be together hit me like a freight train and I found myself too overloaded to function properly. Edward arrived and waved off Emmett and Rosalie, leaving us alone.

"Hello Bella."

The words were jumbled together. The world started to slowly spin and I struggled to focus on Edward's face. As I started to feel sick from all of the colors swirling together, I heard a frantic cry in the distance. I thought it was my name but had no time to respond before everything faded to black.


	3. Clarity

**A/N: Dialogue heavy chapter. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad? For the record- I'm unfamiliar with writing large blocks of dialogue while writing in first person, so this is kind of a trial run. It should be fairly obvious who is speaking, but if anything is unclear, let me know so I can fix it. Also- I don't know what happened with my muse on this one. It was intended to be PwoP and it's turning into an actual story. Anyways, this update is LONG overdue. I just hope you all enjoy it. (Sorry about the wait!) All mistakes are my own.**

The first thing I noticed was my mouth was incredibly dry. The second was the pounding in my head that was steadily being made worse by the sound of Charlie yelling. What was that last part? Something about brain damage I think.

"She's coming to! Bella? Bella can you hear me?"

I could only manage to nod slightly; my mouth was too dry to speak. As if I had spoken my thoughts aloud, a glass of water was placed in my hand as I sat up and I drank slowly from the straw. I sighed in contentment as the water soothed my sore throat. I mustered up a small smile for Charlie, he looked really concerned. After a moment, I decided to test out my voice.

"Wh-what happened?"

Carlisle seemingly appeared out of nowhere. "You fainted."

He looked… alarmingly calm. I scrunched my brow, I thought he would have been far more worried than he appeared to be. Speaking of being concerned…

"Where's Edward?"

"He called Charlie and dropped you off here before deciding to return to his classes."

I was dumbfounded. Edward had left me alone while I was unconscious? The same man who never left my bedside while I was in the hospital in Arizona? What had happened to our relationship in the past few weeks and why hadn't I noticed it?

Deep inside, I knew what it was. Edward knew long before I did, but he pretended otherwise. We weren't meant to be together. I had been unknowingly angering him more and more by pressuring him to make me a vampire because he never intended to do so. I wasn't his mate; I was just a mystery.

The other shoe had finally dropped. It hurt less than I expected.

"I'm fine, Charlie. I don't know what happened, I guess I haven't been eating enough lately."

Words that I hoped would put Charlie's mind at ease on enraged him. He turned to Carlisle, "Bella has been spending more time at your house than at her own. Is this how things run at the Cullen house? You're the richest person in town but you can't make sure the girl eats?"

"Dad, no-"

Carlisle raised a hand to silence me. I obeyed immediately.

"Mr. Swan, I assure you that we feed your daughter during her visits to our home. In my professional opinion, it's simply from a lack of sleep and some stress. She'll be fine but I recommend finding out what's causing the stress and eliminating whatever problem that may be." At this point, Charlie was nodding in agreement. Carlisle turned to me and continued, "Of course, if you would like some assistance, I'm always available to talk, Bella. "

Charlie rubbed a hand over his face. I could tell how worried he was and a wave of guilt hit.

"Could we have some privacy, please?"

"Of course." Carlisle nodded and exited the room. I knew he was waiting a few feet away from the door and that he'd hear anything we said.

There was no such thing as privacy amongst vampires.

"Bells, I don't… what's going on? Are you stressed?"

"A bit." I replied with a noncommittal shrug. I couldn't even attempt to explain my problems to him.

He sighed, knowing that I wasn't going to offer up any information to him. "Well, how would you feel about talking to someone?"

Well the only people I could talk to about my problems would be one of the Cullens. Carlisle had offered but I had a feeling that accepting help from him could end in way I wasn't comfortable with. At least not yet. Suddenly, I had a brilliant idea.

"I'm fine talking to someone and I know who I want to talk to. I appreciate the offer from Dr. Cullen but I've got someone else in mind. I'll work it out, don't worry."

Charlie nodded as a nurse came in to discharge me. She told us that Dr. Cullen had an emergency to attend to and had to rush off.

I knew better but kept silent.

It had been a week since my fainting spell and I had managed to successfully avoid both Edward and Carlisle. I'd avoided all of the Cullen clan actually. The night I got home from the hospital, I closed and locked my bedroom window. I knew it wouldn't keep a vampire out if they really wanted in, but I hoped it'd give the message that I needed time to think. They seemed to get the message.

Also, Charlie let me take the rest of the week off from school which made it easier to avoid my boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. Edward. I honestly had no idea where we stood anymore. Were we even friends?

Anyways, Monday rolled around pretty quickly. However it was a rare type of day in Forks, a sunny one. I thanked whichever god smiled upon me today.

I heard through gossip at school that Alice had been spotted back in town yesterday. I was glad that their trip was short. As school ended, I drove home and sent the text I'd been waiting to send for days. I sighed as I stared at the blank message box. How should I word this?

The phone vibrated in my hand, causing me to jump. Definitely wasn't expecting that. It was Alice.

I really should've known.

"Hi Bella, I saw that you were trying to text me. What's up?"

I wanted to come out with it, but didn't want her super-hearing family members picking up on it. It was already bad enough that she said my name.

"Uh.. Where are you at?"

I could almost hear her frown. "Jasper and I are in Seattle for the day. It was sunny in Forks so I figured I'd make the most of it and go shopping. Why?"

"Is it just you two?"

"Yeah. You're kind of freaking me out. What's going on?"

"I need to talk to Jasper."

"Um, ok? Here."

"No, I didn't mean right-"

"Hello?"

This was going to painfully awkward.

"Hi Jasper."

Silence. He must not have been listening in. Another thing I liked about Jasper; he didn't intrude. He respected people's privacy.

"Hi Bella."

It was a whisper, but at least he responded.

"I… I need your help."

I expected the hesitant silence. I didn't expect what he said though.

"If it will help you forgive me, I'll do anything."

I didn't even bother telling him I already forgave him. I wasn't a fan of placing blame to begin with and I certainly wasn't going to be angry with him for something that was in no way his fault.

"Ok. Well when you get back from Seattle, can you come see me? I need to talk to you. In private."

I could hear Alice in the background asking why she couldn't come too.

"Sorry Alice, it's something rather personal. Oh and one more thing… don't tell anyone else that I even called. Please."

She must have snatched the phone away from Jasper as he started to reply. "No worries, Bella. We won't tell anyone. Jasper will be there tonight to talk to you and everything will be fine, don't worry! Talk to you later!"

I attempted to stutter out a response but the line went dead as soon as she got out her last syllable.

I really hoped Alice was right about everything turning out fine.

I heaved a heavy sigh and unlocked the window.

I repeat: awkward.

Jasper had jumped to my window around 11 o'clock, eased it open and slid into my room. After a nod and an acknowledgement of 'Bella', he had proceeded to sit down on the chair in the corner of my room. I sat down on my bed, facing him. It was now 11:24 and I was no closer to the answers I desperately needed. In fact, not another word had been spoken.

I just could not think of a way to start off.

After 10 more minutes, he finally took pity on me.

"While I have endless patience, you obviously wanted to talk to me about something. Now I've got all the time in the world to give you, darling, but you're going to have to help me out here a little."

It was such a relief to have him speak to me like normal. As if nothing had happened. As if he hadn't tried to kill me a week ago.

That was a sobering thought.

But still, I had called him. No going back now.

"Well… something happened last week."

His eye twitched. "Yes."

"Probably not what you're thinking about. No, the day after my birthday, something happened to me. Something happened on my birthday too- not what you're thinking; that's kind of related to the next day. I've spent the past week going it over and over again in my head and I just can't figure out what it going on with me. With_ us_. Nothing makes sense anymore!"

"I'd say that. Ok, first thing; who's us?"

"Well… Edward and me and… Carlisle."

"Carlisle? Where does Carlisle come into this?"

I prepared myself for maximum awkwardness. My mentally slapped myself a few times before speaking.

"Well he... I think he… we had a moment. In his office after… the incident. It was a little… oh god, it was a little sexual. I think."

I was met by a blank stare. I half expected for him to burst out laughing but it never came. Jasper was just full of surprises.

"You had a sexual moment with Carlisle. Can't say I'm surprised. How does Edward fall into this?"

"Wait, you're not surprised? Really?! Cause it sure as hell surprised me!"

The bastard smirked at me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Well, you aren't an empath. Plus, you're a little naïve, no offense. I'm not surprised you never saw his attraction to you but I can assure you, it's always been present. Uncomfortably so, actually."

Shell-shocked didn't seem like a strong enough expression to describe my current state. My mouth opened and closed, I must have looked like a ridiculous fish. I didn't even have it in me to reply to his naïve comment.

"Anyways, Edward? What happened the next day?"

"Oh. Well I saw him at school and he just seemed… different to me. Colder. And I thought about something Alice once told me. About… mates. She used your relationship as an example and Emmett's… but she never mentioned Carlisle and Esme. Are they…" I trailed off, there question was obvious.

"No, they aren't mates. But they're older than the rest of us. They can pass easier as the 'parents' of our family that the rest of us could."

It made so much sense now. But something else didn't.

"What about-"

"You and Edward?" He knew exactly where I was going with this. Didn't take a genius though. I held my breath as I waited for him to continue. "No, you aren't mates."

My exhalation was loud. "I should have known. It's just because he can't read my mind. I'm just… unexplainable. I'm not… his true love or anything else he's told me."

I buried my face in my hands as I put the pieces together. Jasper moved from his spot on the chair to pat me on the back soothingly.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

That simple statement enraged me. At least there was a reason why Edward toyed with me. The others had no excuse.

"You're sorry? Why would you all have played along? You-You welcomed me! All of you, with open arms! Why would you do this to me if you knew it was all based on bullshit?!"

"Bella," he started gently, "We didn't 'play along'. We welcomed you because you _are_ part of our family. Just… not the way you thought you were. We agreed that it would be best to let you figure that out on your own."

"We?"

"Everyone except Edward. All of us knew."

I couldn't help but laugh at this. "If you all knew, then Edward does too."

His eyes darkened. "You're not wrong. That was even more reason to let you find out yourself. He's keeping you away from Carlisle purposely, Bella. It's more dangerous than you realize. If it were anyone but Carlisle, he would be dead. But Carlisle doesn't want to lose him, nor does he want to lose you in his life, so he wanted everything kept as it was."

So Edward had been leading me to believe that I was his mate while he damn well knew I should have been with Carlisle the entire time. That selfish prick! I didn't know how to approach it to him but I had plenty of time to deal with that. At this moment, I had one thing I needed to do more than anything else.

"Jasper? I'm going to need one more favor."


End file.
